Regents Blues

I spent my time in and out of classrooms on the 5th floor this past week, either proctoring various Regents or laboring over the ELA essays. And by "laboring," I mean "trying to make sense out of" [read: trying to make sense out of a) the gist of the thoughts that students were trying their damnedest to organize in a language and social register they've only been communicating in for a few years, and b) the gist of the thoughts of the people who require students to actually DO this in order to graduate from high school in New York state]. It's a monumental task. Monumental.
And that I've requested to take on the task of preparing them next year -- actually REQUESTED to teach ESL 5 and 6? After this depressing bout, where the majority of students' papers that I read didn't even score a 3 (50%), it seems like preparing them well would require some superhuman wisdom that I clearly have not yet accumulated. Superhuman teacher-ness. I will get there someday. What I DON'T want is to get to next May, look back on the year, and realize, sorrowfully, that I had done more harm than good. Even with the best of intentions, and the first inklings of good teaching starting to come together in me now -- finally -- I fear failing my students.

Maybe I'll feel better, more refreshed and head swimming with ideas, in a month or so.

We'll see what turns up when September rolls around.